cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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