hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
