I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
