I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
