if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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