Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
