On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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