Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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