Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
