My hair reeks of homosexuality.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i think i have two assholes
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
