I can text with my tongue
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
