she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize