'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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