I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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