This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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