Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I wish I could punch you in the face.

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(713): View more from Texas

Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together

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(+44): View more from England

I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets

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(206): View more from Washington

the night ended with taco bell and tears

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(903): View more from Texas

Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?

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(850): View more from Florida

They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.

(678): View more from Georgia

You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.

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