I think scott just propositioned me for sex
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
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My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.