Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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