I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize