I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
