He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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