Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Are we in a gay sports bar?

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  (775): Are we in a gay sports bar? http://tfl.nu/4qe8
  Replies (10) Good night (956) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.

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  (253): I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you. http://tfl.nu/clvu
  Replies (17) Good night (2562) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.

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  (971): I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex. http://tfl.nu/gyof
  Replies (18) Good night (5707) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes

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  (203): i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes http://tfl.nu/2sgp
  Replies (14) Good night (4457) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this

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  (705): Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this http://tfl.nu/08vw
  Replies (40) Good night (1624) Bad night (6368) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..

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  (252): He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it.. http://tfl.nu/x7yt
  Replies (20) Good night (1430) Bad night (5811) Order T-Shirt
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.

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  (620): Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/58do
  Replies (17) Good night (828) Bad night (4079) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon

  (407): View more from Florida

  Covered in confetti and bad decisions

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  (407): Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon (407): Covered in confetti and bad decisions http://tfl.nu/kydc
  Replies (9) Good night (1674) Bad night (508)
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  (+55): View more from

  Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.

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  (+55): Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept. http://tfl.nu/o11x
  Replies (6) Good night (1335) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.

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  (678): i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me. http://tfl.nu/f868
  Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (458)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever

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  (404): Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever http://tfl.nu/354h
  Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.

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  (337): Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday. http://tfl.nu/gphh
  Replies (1) Good night (876) Bad night (357)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.

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  (843): AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME. http://tfl.nu/mm0e
  Replies (11) Good night (423) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.

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  (925): Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this. http://tfl.nu/xd0j
  Replies (5) Good night (1685) Bad night (313)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.

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  (720): I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave. http://tfl.nu/epbn
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (125) Order T-Shirt

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