I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize