she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
