Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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