So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
