I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
