just tell him i said nine months
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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