I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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