woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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