I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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