I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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