I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
