id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
