The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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