I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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