I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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