I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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