It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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