Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize