She just used a chaser for red wine.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
