his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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