I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
love makes seman taste better
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize