Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
