im six kinds of drunk right now
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
