Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
