So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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