google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just google imaged poop.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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