i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
