conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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