K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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