My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
