I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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