i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
