i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think my moral compass just broke
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
