NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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