if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
