I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
