I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize