i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Where is the hickey?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
