Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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