i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
