so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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