When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize