Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
